Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
