Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
