there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
