uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
