And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
