I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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