my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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