i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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