He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
