I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
