I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So vagazzling was a success
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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