the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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