dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
