i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
