u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
