Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
