your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize