I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
