You made me cry and you don't even care
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
