i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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