.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
