I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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