There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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