i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
