Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This is my gift to your gina
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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