Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
