Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
