Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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