Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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