Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
