Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't deserve a penis
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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