And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
