Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
