Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize