I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and she was petting her beer can
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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