She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
