I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
