is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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