Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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