omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
