the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
