I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize