no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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