i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
