Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want to walk on stilts...naked
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
