He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize