that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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