im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
