why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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