Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
All I want is dick and wine.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
