Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hippo gnu deer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
