I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
