Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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