you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize