YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
