meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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