Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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