Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Don't EVER smell your tampon
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How external is "for external use only"?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
