I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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