I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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