Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
