areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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