My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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