im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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