You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
