At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
