I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
