Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You were trust falling into bushes
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
