that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
