so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The uberlube is also flammable
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize