If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
