It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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