he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am one with the molecules
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
