I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no you cant smoke seaweed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
